October Ale Sale

"Bottling our micro witches-brew is genius.  We should have done it two centuries ago."

It's Ten O'Clock Somewhere

"I'm sorry, now that you've pissed me off - how can I direct your call?"

The Capital Hill Has Eyes

" Paranormal Political Activity 3 -  may be the scariest of all."

Scratch Test

"Actually, the cats are allergic to you."

Las Vegas Medium

"Excuse me, I'm a psychic  - did you just lose twenty dollars?"

Vote Zombie

"Zombies are brainless and have no soul.  They're perfect for politics."

Them's Fightin' Words

"Hatfield - McCoy  feud, 1880's.  Republican candidates feud, 2012 election."

Rx Shortage - Madder than Hell

"I wrote the book on greed and price scheming.  But, you drug middlemen really take the devil's food."

Wall Street Wake-Up Call

"I am a Wall Street elitist. But, you're saying it like it's a bad thing."

Protesting Pupils

"This semester Brandon is in Prague, and Emily deferred NYU to occupy Wall Street."

Real Troopers

"Our clients are demanding gluten-free cookies. Unless we target this market, there will be zero-growth."

Caped Career Crusader

"Losing my job forced me to reinvent myself.  Now I'm managing my own brand."

Barking at the Bailout

"You're a Wall Street fat cat.  Time to clean up your litter box, Snowball."

All Politics is Local

"Inspired by Joe the Plumber's run for Congress, the homeowners association decide they are also Washington material."

Family Devalues

"Just text me what you want for dinner - and I'll put it on my to-do list."

Rocky Real Estate

"With a glut of foreclosed man caves - We won't be able to sell until the Bronze Age."

CEO Cut & Save

"Our executive search team recommends hiring a candidate who is an extreme couponer."

Range Rage

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of my professional grade six burner gas gourmet kitchen."

No More Roaming

"Nope. Your unused minutes will not carry-over to the other side."

Job Jive

"We've evaluated your HR personality test. Frankly, you're way too nice for our firm."