Sunday, October 30, 2011

October Ale Sale

"Bottling our micro witches-brew is genius.  We should have done it two centuries ago."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

It's Ten O'Clock Somewhere

"I'm sorry, now that you've pissed me off - how can I direct your call?"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Monday, October 24, 2011

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Las Vegas Medium

"Excuse me, I'm a psychic  - did you just lose twenty dollars?"

Friday, October 21, 2011

Vote Zombie

"Zombies are brainless and have no soul.  They're perfect for politics."

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Them's Fightin' Words

"Hatfield - McCoy  feud, 1880's.  Republican candidates feud, 2012 election."

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Rx Shortage - Madder than Hell

"I wrote the book on greed and price scheming.  But, you drug middlemen really take the devil's food."

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wall Street Wake-Up Call

"I am a Wall Street elitist. But, you're saying it like it's a bad thing."

Monday, October 17, 2011

Protesting Pupils

"This semester Brandon is in Prague, and Emily deferred NYU to occupy Wall Street."

Friday, October 14, 2011

Real Troopers

"Our clients are demanding gluten-free cookies. Unless we target this market, there will be zero-growth."

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Caped Career Crusader

"Losing my job forced me to reinvent myself.  Now I'm managing my own brand."

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Barking at the Bailout

"You're a Wall Street fat cat.  Time to clean up your litter box, Snowball."

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

All Politics is Local

"Inspired by Joe the Plumber's run for Congress, the homeowners association decide they are also Washington material."

Monday, October 10, 2011

Family Devalues

"Just text me what you want for dinner - and I'll put it on my to-do list."

Friday, October 7, 2011

Rocky Real Estate

"With a glut of foreclosed man caves - We won't be able to sell until the Bronze Age."

Thursday, October 6, 2011

CEO Cut & Save

"Our executive search team recommends hiring a candidate who is an extreme couponer."

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Range Rage

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of my professional grade six burner gas gourmet kitchen."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

No More Roaming

"Nope. Your unused minutes will not carry-over to the other side."

Monday, October 3, 2011

Job Jive

"We've evaluated your HR personality test. Frankly, you're way too nice for our firm."