Slash & Burn Education

"In an effort to raise student performance and cut costs - the district has eliminated erasers."

Ding!

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the trending now sign."

Hormonal Horror

"I'm going through menopause.  For your own safety, I suggest you all leave now!"

Parental Privacy Settings

"Dad, your wall posts are embarrassing me."

Jobs Broken Record

"As governor, I created the most jobs:  Campaign Director, Campaign Fundraiser, Campaign Press Secretary..."

Kickin It New Skool

"I'm sorry, Ms. Sherman, I outsourced my homework -- it should be done by Tuesday."

Straw Hat Poll

"Winning first place at the fair, Marcia now wants to be President."